When Your Child Says "I Do Not Get It": Three Questions to Ask First

When a child says 'I do not get it' in maths, ask three questions before explaining: What is the question asking you to find? Which part can you already do? Where does the next step become unclear? These questions narrow the problem while keeping the child involved.

'I do not get it' can mean several things. The child may not understand the words, may not know which method to choose, or may have lost confidence after one failed attempt.

An instant explanation may solve the wrong problem. These three questions help a parent find the right one first.

1. What are you trying to find?

Ask your child to say the target without solving it. In a word problem, this may mean finding the total, the difference, or a missing part. If they cannot name the target, read the question together and ask them to underline only that part.

Avoid translating the whole question into a ready-made equation. The goal is to make the destination visible, not take over the route.

2. Which part can you already do?

Look for a fact, diagram, or first step the child trusts. Even a small known part can lower the feeling that the entire question is impossible.

If they say 'nothing', offer a choice: 'Can you tell me what these numbers describe, or draw the situation?' A choice is gentler than an open demand for the whole method.

3. Where does the next step become unclear?

Ask the child to point to the exact line or idea that feels uncertain. If they can identify it, give one hint and ask them to attempt the next step. If they cannot, return to the question's target and known information.

This sequence can help you identify a specific question to discuss. If the child remains distressed or the task is still unclear, pause and choose a different form of support.

Keep the child in the driver's seat

After a hint, ask, 'Why do you think that step works?' If the child cannot explain it, simplify the prompt rather than racing to the final answer.

Zairoo is designed to guide the next move when a child is stuck. Try guided maths support if you want support that keeps the child active in the maths.

For a worked time example after the conversation, read how to choose a first step and adapt the task to the child’s current level.